Apne Haath Jagannath (The work you do yourself is what matters) Papa's Lesson For Life

My earliest memory of my father whom I address as “Papa”, is him holding me in his arms and lovingly proclaiming to me and to the whole household that he wants me to be an IAS officer. I didn’t know what an IAS officer was until much later in my life but in that moment and subsequently throughout my life, I have known that Papa would be by my side no matter what I do in life. In her Nobel prize speech, Malala Yousafzai thanked her father for not clipping her wings and letting her fly. In my case, Papa is the gentle thermal air beneath not only my intact wings but my mother’s, his sisters’ and many other women and men in our lives.

Growing up in a mostly nuclear family in the 80s in a small town of India, there was something different about our home. I didn’t understand it or thought much of it at that time back then. But looking back at it and analyzing it through the lens of time and middle-aged wisdom of a global citizen, I am mesmerized by the roles and dynamics of our home in contrast with society at large back then and even now. The day started with me and my brother being gently urged to wake up to go to school by Papa. With my mother already gotten a head start to her day to fulfill her career goals, Papa’s morning routine involved getting us bathed, combed, dressed, fed, lunches packed and readied for school. Only after accomplishing all of that he got ready for what he was supposed to be. For many years, Papa rode a bike for three miles followed by a train journey of one and a half hours and another bike ride of one mile to follow his calling in life of being a lecturer of medicine.

I remember once sharing our household’s morning routine with the mother of a close friend. It left her speechless and me momentarily confused about what was wrong with the way I was being raised. It was only much later in my life I realized that the reason gender never held much meaning for me in life was because I was raised in an environment of equal worth and was constantly reminded of “Apne Haath Jagannath” by someone who was practicing it every day. All my personal and professional relationships with men including my brother, husband, friends and colleagues are grounded by the positivity of one of the most important relationships of my life.

I have come to know Papa as someone with a gentle but a clear and firm voice, someone who is there to listen to you, untangle the truth with you, offer you advice only if he can without being judgmental and quietly stand by you morally, socially or financially leveraging his finely tuned moral and social compass. His quiet strength has allowed me to expand my wings, soar high, face the storms and be grounded at the same time. And on this Father’s Day, I thank Papa for being the wind beneath my wings!

Remembering Mom

Mom, I remember being upset with you. I remember your extreme moods. I remember questioning your motivations. I remember you being angry. I remember you being disillusioned. I remember you being unhappy. I remember you being tough with me and everyone around you. I remember your disciplinary mindset. I remember your idealism. I remember the tears. I remember the dysfunction you seemingly created. I remember your loud voice. I remember the fight you had in you till the very last minute of your breath.

Mom, you were not the loving and forgiving martyr. You were a fighter. You were questioned but you didn't stop. You heatedly protested the wrong. You wholeheartedly condemned the bias. You fought your brothers for your education. You fought your unruly male colleagues at work. You fought the society around you who wanted to box you. You were fighting so many battles at once and all the time. You were fighting alone all the time. 

Mom, you were fair and unbiased in all your relationships. You didn't side with a sister or a brother. You didn't even side with your own children. You never ever compared one with the other. You never gossiped. You never cried foul. You were always direct. You were fair and expected fairness in return. The disillusionment  came when the fairness wasn't returned. The anger and the fight followed the disillusionment. And since life is not fair, it happened too often. 

Mom, I do remember the moments when you showed your softer side. I remember sleeping on your belly as a child. I remember your sense of humor. I remember you sharing the stories of our childhood. I remember your appreciation for the sunlight. I remember your obsession with raw vegetables. I remember your shoe collection. I remember your nephews and nieces in awe of you and in love with you. I remember the inspiration you were to the next generation in the family.

Mom, I don't think I ever fully understood you while you were around. I regret that we didn't talk enough about why you were the way you were. What was bothering you in a given moment? If I could figure out a way to stop the source of your disillusionment. If I could fight your battles with you. If I could just have another moment to tell you that I have started to understand you. I have started to understand you because I have started to understand myself.

Mom, the interesting thing is that the battles are the same. And I fight these every so often. I have felt disillusioned. I have felt angry. I have felt unhappy. I think I have felt just like you. But unlike you I have your battle scars to learn from. And I live in world that allows me to lean in. You were never allowed. You never had anyone to lean on. But, you kept going on.

Mom, you were way ahead of your time.

Can you have it all?

This is a question thrown around multiple times and answered zealously by multiple people. Here is the google result page link in case this post fails to address this question adequately. 

Before I start delving into this question, I have couple of questions of my own that I want to ask. Are you ready?

My questions are:

1. What does ALL mean to you? 
2. Do you think there is a universal definition of ALL?
3. Is ALL constant or does it change with your circumstance?
4. What will happen if you have it ALL?

If you can honestly answer these questions, I promise you will get your answer to Can you have it all. You don't need to read the rest of this post.

Years and years of conditioning has made us believe that more is always better than less and possession is ultimate form of control and superiority. We constantly change our definition of ALL based on these false beliefs. Not only that but we also measure ourselves and others against this ever changing definition of ALL. 

If you can't constrain ALL at a given time, how can you have it ALL? Who cares about what you have in the first place? 

Try to answer the why and you may never need to answer when and how.

Design Thinking Airport Experience

The effort of being a global citizen inevitably results in people spending considerable amount of their travel time on airports. Not only one has to be checked in couple of hours before starting one's air affair but people also need to make flight connections especially with international travel. Not everyone is bestowed with luck when it comes to flight connections. Often people have airport layovers that span multiple hours. At times, Gods of weathers may be unhappy and make these layovers even longer and excruciating.

I have been guilty of abusing air travel. As a result, I have served my share of time on multiple airports in last eleven years. I have also heard and read experiences of my fellow felons. As I write this post, I consider myself as somewhat of an expert when it comes to applying design thinking on airport experience. Who are we kidding? I currently have a five and half hours layover in Guangzhou airport in China and have nothing better to do at the moment than write this post.

There have been tremendous investments in airport infrastructure in last decade. As world economies have become more global the need for people to travel and connect has grown in response to that. The investments in airport infrastructure have not necessarily translated into a better airport experience for travelers though. Some airports do a better job than the others but most do not understand and respect the out of home, tired traveler who is trying to find some shred of comfort on the ground before she takes off. Here are a few things that would enhance traveler's experience and make airport some money at the same time:

1. Better information/signage for existing amenities and features. Many airports already have useful amenities like showers and prayer rooms. But where are these? Often I have realized such amenities exist when I am about to leave the airport or as a tribal tale from fellow passengers. Why are these things not advertised appropriately? Are airport authorities worried that travelers would flock around these and not spend their money on stupid duty free shops? Well put a small fee on it; make some money out of it. Many would rather spend on a hot shower after a fifteen hour flight than buying the latest Chanel perfume.
2. Airport sleep pods. How can travelers get some quiet and stretch their legs? Why do they have to sit on uncomfortable benches and chairs? The waiting and boarding areas can be equipped with sleep pods. Swipe your card for the time you want in the pod, go in and forget everything for that time. Some airports are offering sleep pods such as Abu Dhabi's dedicated sleep lounge but it can be taken many steps further. 
3. Bring the outside in - fresh air, sunlight, green, water and land. Incorporating creative child friendly landscaping features in the interior design of airport will definitely help travelers relax. Kids can also expend their energies in this environment and let adults breathe easier. 
4. Airport hotel by the hour. Sounds kind of sleazy I know. But I think it would be wonderful experience for travelers especially travelers with young families. Having a private place to yourself for few hours sounds like heaven to me!
5. Last but not the least by any means - high quality fresh food options. Most airports have gone wrong with their food courts and restaurant options in my opinion. The food feels stale, tasteless and just a minor upgrade from what is served in the flight. Why is it so difficult to serve quality food on airports? With 20-30% higher prices that one has to shell out on an airport, one feels entitled to a decent meal.

What else is important to you when it comes to airport experience? Would love to hear your thoughts! 

Five Critical Resources People Waste Without Realizing It

We are told that we live in a world full of constraints. There is always a shortage of one thing or the other. We have to make do and be efficient. Being efficient means preventing the wasteful use of a particular resource. What is  that particular resource that we value? What is it that is truly valuable and should not be wasted? How often do we stop and think about that?

Hope there are some answers in this post.

• Time

The single biggest complain that every adult complains about is not having enough time to do what they need to do. They are not able to do certain things because they simply don't have enough time. So, it is a proven fact that we value time. Lets think about what we do with our time. Do we use our time to do the things that are important and useful to us, our family, our community, our country, our planet Earth? Or do we waste our time on the mundane and mindless? Do we get stuck with analysis paralysis? What would our lives be like if we can be efficient with our time? We need to think hard about in what ways we waste our time. And eventually this will result in steps to accomplish things that are important and meaningful all around -spending time with oneself and their family, learning new skills, keeping healthy, devoting time to community causes. The list is endless.

• Passion

Another important ingredient to life's recipe that is wasted all around. Passion is defined as a compelling enthusiasm and desire for something. We like to believe that we are passionate about things we do or talk about. Passion can lead to great accomplishments. All great people in this world got to that point because they were passionate about what they did. But history tells us that passion has led us to riots, mass murders and environmental disasters as well. We have examples like Gandhi and Martin Luther King who were passionate about freedom for everyone. But we also have examples where passion misled to events like holocaust and Godhra train burning. Passion can be purely evil and wasteful without us realizing it and lead to inequality and injustice in society. We have to be careful about our passions in this interconnected world we live in today. One man's passion can be everyone's biggest nightmare. Passion must take a big picture into consideration and align with morality. 

• Relationships

Human beings are social animals. We need meaningful connections to other people to not only survive in this world but also to live a balanced and happy life. Our relationships are key to success in our careers and emotional well being. Just like anything else relationships require time and nurturing. As we attempt to forge new relationships, we should not let our existing healthy relationships waste away. The tree simply cannot survive without its roots. A healthy relationship always serves a deep purpose. And we need to be cognizant of the purpose of our relationships. We can have thousands of so called friends and still feel all alone. We can have multiple children and still not end up having a connection with any of them. The key to having a meaningful and purposeful relationship with others is to first have the same type relationship with oneself. Know thyself.      

• Nourishment

 Nourishment wasted in any form is a loss for entire human society. Be it food, water or medicines. We simply cannot afford to waste these essentials to human life. We grow what we can consume. We buy what we can consume. And we make sure to consume what we grow and buy. Additionally we need to practice good eating habits. Good eating habits not only result in good health but also in lesser consumption of medicines. When it comes to nourishment, we must align with our local weather and supply chains. We must align in our homes as well as the businesses we run around these essentials.     

• Natural Resources

The wastage of natural resources is all around us. It is in the sprawling cities, oil spillages in oceans, massive deforestation for housing, agriculture and industry and non stop extraction of coal, oil and metals. We can very well blame the governments and corporations for not being responsible in managing these resources. But at the end of the day it is human greed that has led us where we are today. All of us play a part in world economies. Some more than others. But we can change. We can be efficient with energy, our homes and our routines. We can recognize the wastefulness, take our share of responsibility and educate others along the way.

Do the right thing. You really know what the right thing is. Fashions may change. Maybe you shouldn't wear short pants or short skirts or go without a shirt or go without a tie. That is a fashion, but the proper thing, the good thing to do, you already know. In truth, you know to be kind, to be courteous, to be fair. You know that. -Maya Angelou

Breaking Down Organizational Change

Why do organizations need to change?

• Organizations need to change to sustain and remain competitive
• Publicly traded organizations must change to meet or exceed Wall Street expectations

Who initiates and plans for large scale organizational changes?

• Typically top management - CXOs, Board, SVPs

How is the need for a large scale change typically identified and course of action planned?

• Using highly paid external consultants

Does an organization lack talented resources such that highly paid external consultants have to be brought in?

• Not really. A good leader can do this with help of his/her existing team. It is a matter of creativity and good persuasion skills. 

What incentives does top management have in finding creative ways of solving a problem?

• None. They typically want to rely on so called "tried and tested" approaches

Who is least impacted on a day today basis during change execution?

• Top management - CXOs, Board, SVPs

Who executes the planned change in an organization?

• Middle management and non managerial staff

Who is most impacted by change execution?

• Middle management and Non managerial staff

Who gets laid off as part of change execution?

• Middle management and Non managerial staff

So who changes the least as part of change implementation?

• Top management - CXOs, Board, SVPs

So who is ultimately most resistant to change in an organizational context?

• Wall Street
• Financial Institutions
• Top management - CXOs, Board, SVPs

So who makes up wall street, financial institutions and top management?

• People

So who is most resistant to change in the larger context of an economy?

• People

Five Reasons I don't Want To Procreate

Being a thirty something married female, I am constantly bombarded with this question or some variation of it. "When are you going to have kids?" I hear this from my immediate and extended family, friends who already have kids or are pregnant and even folks that don't fall into these categories. Really?

So why is this such a big deal? Many people argue that procreation is a very natural thing. Let nature take its course. Yeah sure. I think the same group of people need to stop using "artificial contraceptives" altogether and go all natural. See how many you can handle, NATURALLY.

And then there are people who tell me that I am missing out on the greatest love and joy of one's life. Gee, that really hurts. I think these people need to maximize the joys of their lives. Read advice in the paragraph above. More the merrier, right?

Another gem. Marriage doesn't mean anything until you have kids. So basically you are questioning whether me and my spouse love each other or not. You are questioning the longevity of my relationship with my spouse. All I can say is time will tell. For you and for me.

Now that I have some of the angst out of my system, here are the top five reasons why I don't want to procreate:

1. Too many kids abandoned and neglected by society in today's times. I would rather adopt from that pool
2. I strongly believe that there are just too many of us as it is. 7.3 billion and counting
3. No desire whatsoever to see "mini-me"s of myself and my spouse. 
4. We live in modern times. Procreation is such an outdated concept if you think about Robotics and Artificial Intelligence
5. I am a human being. I love. I care. I empathize. I accept. This is what defines me.

Perfect Robot or Perfect Human or Both.....Wait are they the same?

So how many of you out there think about evolution? What is next? Are we engineering the evolution process? Will nature win over human efforts towards evolution? Don't get me wrong. I am all about the journey and not so much about the destination. Que será, será. We will get somewhere, somehow in our lifetimes. Willingly or forcefully. Knowingly or Unknowingly. But I also love being analytical. I love thinking about all the different permutations and combinations, putting the pieces together and taking them apart.

I have to admit something though. My inspiration for this post not only comes from the scientific research (links provided at the end) but also from two of my all time favorite science fiction movies. Matrix and Gattaca. If you like science fiction but have not seen these movies, please make it a priority and check them out.

When I think about human efforts towards evolution, I broadly put them in two buckets:

• Robots and Artificial Intelligence: The goal is to engineer intelligence of non human form. This form can think and reason like human, has cognitive abilities, looks like humans. 
• Genetic Engineering: The goal is to engineer a perfect human form whatever that maybe. This form is most likely highly intelligent, physically strong, immune to disease and aging.

Take a pause and compare the two sides. What does one have and the other lacks? What would distinguish a perfect robot from a perfect human as we continue making progress in both areas? Where does one begin and the other ends? 

Don't be alarmed my dear readers. As I said in the beginning, it is all about the journey. And I hope the journey is filled with new discoveries and enlightenment for all of you! 

Links to some of the ongoing scientific research

Gene Editing Technology

Chinese scientists experiment with human embryos

Humanoid Robots

A very human like Japanese robot

What Revolution Will I Lead?

This post is inspired by Scott Dinsmore's Blog Challenge. 

Multiple things come to my mind when I think about making a difference in the world. On a given day I am thinking and reading about multiple things - environment, technology, gender stereotypes, human interactions to name a few. But as I am writing this blog there is one thing that I keep coming back to. The revolution I will lead on any given day is: How to make human beings more empathetic? And this blog post seems like perfect way to share my thoughts on "being empathetic". I hope this post plants a seed for this revolution.

Empathy roughly means the capacity to place oneself in another's shoes. Hmm think about that as you are reading this post. When I think of empathy and what it means, it is more than just being empathetic towards your immediate family and circle of friends. It is more than a standard set of circumstances under which you exercise it. It comes naturally to you no matter who you are are interacting with. It can be your meddlesome neighbor, your paid often late help, your misguided management, your gold plating vendor, your competitor or the person sitting in a third world country providing back office support in a different accent. How are you feeling in those shoes?

Being an empathetic person means that you continuously challenge yourself when it comes to understanding different perspectives, ideas and cultures. You do not shy away when presented with the extreme behaviors, exaggerated opinions and less than ideal circumstances. You do not feel betrayed when you give others a chance or second or third chance. Not only that, you are empathetic towards yourself. You give yourself a chance to learn, explore and make mistakes. Additionally, Empathy does not stop at human interactions. It transcends human interactions and applies to interactions with your pets, your environment, the entire universe.

The single most important lesson that we can teach each and every person on this planet today is to be empathetic towards each other. This lesson needs to be imparted as early as possible in kids and needs to be continually impressed upon in adults. Because empathy leads to a better understanding of people and situations. It enables us in making good and solid decisions.

Think about how different our world would be if our corporations, leaders and politicians learn to exercise empathy. I for one can't wait to be part of that world!

7.3 Billion And Counting

"I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet."

Remember this famous Agent Smith line from the awesome movie Matrix. Kind of derogatory but somewhat true and thought provoking. It is a fact that human beings have impacted Earth and environment in ways that no other species ever did. We are clearing out forests to create land for agriculture, industries and housing. In the process making other species extinct and disturbing the balance in the ecosystem. We are polluting air, water and land from industrial and household waste, drilling hole in ozone layer and actively contributing to global warming. And one of the other big reasons for disturbance in natural equilibrium of human species with the environment is Medical advancement. Infant mortality rates have decreased exponentially in last century. At the same time, the average lifespan of human beings has gone up significantly due to availability of medical treatments and current lifestyles. And these number will continue to go higher with new advancements in medical field especially in the area of cancer treatments. 

One can argue that human population numbers don't mean anything if humanity faces a nuclear war or an asteroid hits planet earth and wipes out half of the human population. There are probably multiple other threats to human civilization beyond our control. But remember, an unchecked human population growth is an equally serious threat too.

One can also argue that we will eventually find life elsewhere in universe, make space travel piece of cake and relocate to those parts of universe. But, doesn't that prove Agent Smith's point in Matrix? Doesn't that feel like a rape and subsequent abandonment of motherland Earth?

Planet Earth is alive. Lets be conservative and sensible and keep it alive and thriving. This is the only living planet we have and know of. All of us need to take a step back and re-evaluate our life styles and how it impacts the planet Earth. We need to make sure to not get swayed by corporations' marketing gimmicks where all happiness seems to come from having a big house full of plastic junk. 

There is more to life than owning stuff. Lets make a serious effort to reduce our footprint on this beautiful planet. Lets make every day an Earth day!

Is there really a problem or do we just like to whine and make wrong choices?

I must say that it is simply awesome to have access to all sorts of information and mis-information :-) via internet. You just need to think about a topic and voila - the Google God, the Facebook Fairy and many others are here at your service! The cynics and skeptics, lets not get into the topic of net neutrality today! I will try to get to it in a future post. Hopefully net stays neutral till then!

Since we have access to all this information and all the platforms to express ourselves(including this blog for me!), we get to hear a lot about what is going on in our friends' lives, our city, our country and various parts of the world. Share all the good, the bad and the ugly. Take a pause and think about this. It is pretty darn amazing. You can entertain yourself, keep in touch with lots of people spread all over the world, share opinions, make choices based on information available from different sources, stay informed on latest in the business, politics and scientific research, derive insights from big data analysis - the list is endless.

So is this the golden age or what? What? Did I say something wrong? Oh, wait looks like some hands are going up and some people reading this are questioning my assessment. Since I don't really have your feedback while I am writing this, I can't go into specifics. But I do know that I have whined in the past about many things and still do. It can be quite cathartic for the time being. After all it doesn't take any effort to whine. This can be an endless cycle if that's how you roll. You can keep doing it all your life or you can utilize the information available to you and do something about the problem/s at hand. Always remember:

You choose to procrastinate or act

You choose to lead or be led
You choose to be happy or miserable
You choose to get bored or entertained
You choose to stay behind or get ahead
You choose to feel inferior or superior
You choose who you love or despise
You choose to make friends or foes
You choose to love or fight

You choose to create or adopt

You choose to care or not care!

I would love to have your feedback. Tell me anything specific you want me to address and I will try to make it a topic of my future post. Till then, whine a little but make good choices!