Apne Haath Jagannath (The work you do yourself is what matters) Papa's Lesson For Life

My earliest memory of my father whom I address as “Papa”, is him holding me in his arms and lovingly proclaiming to me and to the whole household that he wants me to be an IAS officer. I didn’t know what an IAS officer was until much later in my life but in that moment and subsequently throughout my life, I have known that Papa would be by my side no matter what I do in life. In her Nobel prize speech, Malala Yousafzai thanked her father for not clipping her wings and letting her fly. In my case, Papa is the gentle thermal air beneath not only my intact wings but my mother’s, his sisters’ and many other women and men in our lives.

Growing up in a mostly nuclear family in the 80s in a small town of India, there was something different about our home. I didn’t understand it or thought much of it at that time back then. But looking back at it and analyzing it through the lens of time and middle-aged wisdom of a global citizen, I am mesmerized by the roles and dynamics of our home in contrast with society at large back then and even now. The day started with me and my brother being gently urged to wake up to go to school by Papa. With my mother already gotten a head start to her day to fulfill her career goals, Papa’s morning routine involved getting us bathed, combed, dressed, fed, lunches packed and readied for school. Only after accomplishing all of that he got ready for what he was supposed to be. For many years, Papa rode a bike for three miles followed by a train journey of one and a half hours and another bike ride of one mile to follow his calling in life of being a lecturer of medicine.

I remember once sharing our household’s morning routine with the mother of a close friend. It left her speechless and me momentarily confused about what was wrong with the way I was being raised. It was only much later in my life I realized that the reason gender never held much meaning for me in life was because I was raised in an environment of equal worth and was constantly reminded of “Apne Haath Jagannath” by someone who was practicing it every day. All my personal and professional relationships with men including my brother, husband, friends and colleagues are grounded by the positivity of one of the most important relationships of my life.

I have come to know Papa as someone with a gentle but a clear and firm voice, someone who is there to listen to you, untangle the truth with you, offer you advice only if he can without being judgmental and quietly stand by you morally, socially or financially leveraging his finely tuned moral and social compass. His quiet strength has allowed me to expand my wings, soar high, face the storms and be grounded at the same time. And on this Father’s Day, I thank Papa for being the wind beneath my wings!